What to Say to Your Child
Each child is different. Here are some suggestions.

1. "I'm proud of you for trying out."
          - Mention the hundreds and thousands of children who did not tryout at all.
          - Mention that your child was strong, brave, and adventurous enough to try.
          - Praise your child for doing the best he/she could.
          - Eliminate your child's guilt and embarrassment.
          - Assure your child that you are not displeased with him/her.
          - Tell your child that you love him/her, and that your love is unconditional.
          - Show that you mean what you say. When it is convenient, specifically celebrate the tryout process by playing a game of catch, getting a burger or ice cream cone together, or taking in a movie.

2. "They want you to come back next year."
             - Provide a basis for hope.
          - Mention that children change greatly from year to year, and that SAYSO knows that.
          - Mention that SAYSO's tryout process is fair, and that SAYSO will know when you're ready.
          - Mention that some children tryout several times before they are accepted.

3. "It is normal for some children not to get chosen."
          - Help your child to see that he/she is not alone.
          - Mention that your child is not the only player not selected.
          - Mention that SAYSO only has 'so much' room, and even if all of the players were like Mia Hamm and Pele, SAYSO wouldn't be able to take them all.

4. "It's not the end of the world."
          - Put it in perspective.
          - Mention that your child can play recreational soccer (e.g., AYSO) next fall, and that he/she will be with his/her friends again.
          - Mention that getting on a soccer team doesn't have anything to do with your love for him/her, having food on the table, having friends, and being part of a good family.
          - Emphasize the academics, sports, and other activities that your child is doing well in.

5. "If getting on a team is important to you, this will give you something to work on."
          - Encourage your child to use the next recreational soccer season, summer soccer camps, and upcoming clinics to learn as much as he/she can.
          - Always use the lead-in phrase, "If it's something that you want to do..." to make it clear that you are not establishing expectations of your own.

6. "This is good, and it may actually be the best thing for you."
          - Point your child towards another truth.
          - Mention that getting on a team before he/she is ready could be an unhappy experience, particularly if he/she didn't play very much.
          - Mention that, now, your child will have more time for [another favorite activity].
          - Point out that your child will have fewer time conflicts and commitments.

7. "What would you like me (us, mommy, daddy, etc.) to do to help?"
          - The best team to be on is the family team. Use this to continue forming that team.
          - Be willing to kick the ball around the yard or to bring a ball to the park.
          - Be willing to watch some soccer on television.
          - Listen if your child needs his/her own ball, a new pair of soccer cleats, or a visit to a local game.
          - Always use the lead-in phrase, "If it's something that you want to do..." to make it clear that you are not establishing expectations of your own.

Have questions? We're here to help. Get your questions answered by emailing or by calling 650-593-5161.